How I Got to Be Who I Am (In a Very Tiny Nutshell)
I want to start by showing you the major players in my life, the ones who remain constant through it all, and that is my family.  My family is loving and supportive, but also one of the largest sites for discord in my life, as I imagine it is for many.  The reason it is for me...
[photos of family]

My friends are also key players in my life, and though there are some who remain fairly constant, there are many who are added along the way.
[photos of friends]

My major transformations are all connected in my mind and fit together closely chronologically speaking, which makes it harder to narrate, but I am going to try.  

I had a relatively normal freshman and sophomore years of college, except that I was completely sober, which was normal for me because I was a devout Christian Scientist.  Because many people are unfamiliar with the true theology of Christian Science and there is definitely not time to go into it here, suffice it to say it is a strict sect of Christianity, and all drug use, alcohol use, and pre-marital sex is discouraged.  As I said before, I was devout.

[pictures of freshmen year]

I was also in love.  I met my first love (Brent) at my church summer camp, where we were counselors together (and had been campers together).  He is important to my transformation as a person because he was the first person to truly challenge my beliefs about sexuality and its place in a relationship.  Although you can see he is practically irresistable, I never did have intercourse with him because the mental block that had been built up through my religious beliefs against this specific manifestation of sexuality was too strong.

[pictures of Brent and I]

Another important transformation came during my Introduction to Gay and Lesbian Theory class, which challenged so many of my thoughts and beliefs.  Growing up with gay dads doesn’t mean you’re automatically radical, but I do believe it helped me be receptive to new ideas.  I decided during this class that I did not want to get married, because although I think all people should have the right to marriage, it is not an institution I wish to support.  Of course, this automatically meant I could no longer simply calculate when to first have intercourse, but I was not sure what my new rule should be.  It took me almost four years to tell my mother about this decision not to marry, and actually, it was one of my siblings that leaked the information to her and we just talked about it this summer.

[pictures of camp]

I now want to return to the scene of my summer camp.  I went to this camp for 13 years, with all my family eventually attending, but my older brother and I having attended the longest.  My brother and I even got to be counselors together, which was a blast.  I met my first love there and had so many best friends there.  It was truly my second home.  My sophomore year of college, my brother called to tell me he had not been invited back to be a counselor because the camp director found out he is gay.  I had already planned to be a counselor all summer and just had to send in my signed contract.  Now, there is no position in Christian Science that says homosexuality is wrong, but this was the camp director’s decision.  I never returned my contract and when they called asking why I hadn’t, I told them the truth.  It still makes me sad that the camp took this position, but the decision I made not to return is for me symbolic of a transformation I had to become an adult and truly stand up for what I believe in, which is not always fun and quite often the opposite.

[more pictures of brent]

That summer Brent, who I’d been with for two years, broke up with me.  All the things I’ve talked about so far, in conjunction with this event, brought about the final phase of my transformation.  I was essentially forced to question all I had once known to be true.  Losing that love I thought would last forever meant nothing was for certain anymore.

[party pictures]

I basically began to, very slowly, test my boundaries...with sex, alcohol and drugs.  One of the most important things I learned was that I could do these things and still be myself.  I had been so obsessed with knowing myself that I thought that meant I had to set rules for myself and never break them.  I realized that knowing myself is a continual learning process and it doesn’t mean having a specific set of answers ready for those important questions in life.  The way I thought about life had transformed, I would say for the better.

The whole process is also very tied up in my feminism for me, which is also a continual learning process, and something I consider an integral part of my life.  I think I always was a feminist, but my women’s and gender studies classes gave me a way to better articulate and further explore what I thought.

Thanks for taking this journey with me and for bearing with the non-linear and hard to follow structure.  I’m sure you all understand how hard it can be to explain to someone how you got to be who you are today, and trying to pictorially illustrate the important moments in your life is not always possible, since you don’t necessarily take pictures at those crucial moments--breakups, epiphanies, hard decisions.  Hence all the smiling faces you have seen, instead of angry, thoughtful, or confused.  I’d be happy to answer any questions you have, including being more specific in some of the things I had to gloss over.